Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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