sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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