I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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