worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize