Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize