chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize