why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
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No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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