Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize