i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This baby is an asshole
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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