We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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