2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize