Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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