my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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