You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize