Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize