Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize