I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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