masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize