i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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