i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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