speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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