You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No stitches, just platelets and will power
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize