Do you still have your period?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize