what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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