i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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