I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Verdict: uncircumcised.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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