If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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