You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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