her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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