How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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