Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize