I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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