I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize