Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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