Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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