Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
where are my eyebrows?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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