she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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