dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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