Im at strip club and am horny
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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