come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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