You smell like stripper and shame
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize