My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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