i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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