I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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