there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
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The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
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We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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