maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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