i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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