I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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