I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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