In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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