Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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